My career unhappiness story

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Here’s how it began

I was sitting in the doctors, when I started crying, I wondered is he going to think I'm completely nuts for crying he was a nice caring doctor. He gave me a tissue and reassured me that it was okay to cry, he wasn't going to judge me because I felt silly for crying. This happened in my mid 20s whilst going through the redundancy process it was so stressful the uncertainty of not knowing where I was going next was adding to this stress.

Everyone in my community of my generation are doctors, dentists, accountants, lawyers etc all the professions which are highbrow. I was never academic and couldn't pursue any of those professions. I'm not saying that I'm not intelligent, I've worked hard to be where I am. I know who I am. I know my opinion counts, it's why I created a business.

It can be very easy for all of us to feel like things are against us when you feel like you are not the brightest, not the smartest etc. We can all feel like failures we can feel as though we are not enough. I'm sharing this story with you, because I remember when I didn't get selected to be in my team I and was made redundant, that it wasn't anybody's fault. It was the universe's way of telling me that I was meant to learn and grow and do different things. I was grateful for the experience. And I was lucky I started a new job. I lost my job on the Friday started a new one on the Monday.

Imposter syndrome

I felt thankful that I had a job. When you go through something like redundancy, where you feel like a failure, or you have imposter syndrome which was what was happening to me when I went to this new job. I thought, who was to be in this job? I hadn't interviewed for this job, I've got the job through being redeployed. It's a seemed like a pity job. It knew wasn't a Pity job, but it seemed like that at the time. This voice wouldn't go away the inner voice, the imposter syndrome. The how did I end up here? What am I doing with my life? The who am I to be here voice came up and I felt I wasn’t good enough.  

Then when my cousin was diagnosed with a very serious health condition, I was devastated. I remember thinking because he was a year older than me, he had a very good job and worked for IBM. I thought what if that had been me? I remember I couldn't sleep properly at night, I was worrying. I was thinking, what was I going to do next, what direction was I going to go in? Luckily, I was living at home with my mom or my sister. So, it wasn't as though the world was going to come to an end in terms of finances and emotional support.

I think one of the reasons I found the whole redundancy process so stressful is because of how long it took it.  Sadly, my cousin died two years after that he suffered a lot, he had stomach cancer. Bad things happen, but it it's how we deal with the bad stuff and we can move forward and create something new. Really think about what you want? I knew that being that unhappy was not something where I was doing a disservice to myself. I wanted to write, I wanted to travel, I wanted to live my life because I kept on thinking if my cousin can get ill. What could happen to me? I hadn't even met my husband them. So I left my job to start a fresh and 5 years on I have this business where I help women find their version of career happiness.

Start making a change sooner rather then later.

If you feel like you're a failure, if you feel like you're not good enough, if you feel like you're going through imposter syndrome, there is something you can do about it, you can change can adapt your life, there will be risks involved, there will be a fears that come up. I took the leap and I left my job. I'm not saying that you need to leave your job. If you've got a family and kids and a mortgage etc, you may not be able to do this. What I am saying is, there is always an alternative if you feel pressure to be the kind of person that other people want you to be. It's because you're not thinking for yourself, you're internalizing what your real thoughts are. What I mean by that is, when I work with my clients, I make it about them. It's about them pushing forward so they can create the life they want.

It can only happen if you take the action required to get there. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to be like, Oh, yeah, I had it all figured out. No, it's taken me five years to get here. What I will say is that all journeys have a destination all of them and you need to find your destination sooner rather than later, so you can start living your career happiness.

If you want to find out how I can help you why not book a call here

 

 

 

 

 

What can we learn from American Beauty?

One of my favourite all time movies is American Beauty. I just happened to come across it on sky movies the other day and wanted to watch it as hadn't seen it in ages :)!Whilst watching it me and my husband realised there are so many amazing life and career lessons you can learn from this movie. For anyone who hasn't seen the movie sorry be ready for spoiler alerts and if you haven't go watch it now.

Lesson 1 happiness at work and life is important

I help amazing women go out there and find their dream job and build a life they want. If we relate this to the character of Lester Burnam a middle aged man who isn't happily married hates his job and lives for the sake of doing things. Until one day something and someone changes who he is. If you like his character, had the opportunity to just quit your job and work in a job that actually made you happy would you do it? Yes it is only a movie and some parts are a tad unrealistic and over the top for dramatic effect lol. However I really want you to think about if you really are unhappy in your life. Do you want to end up as he phrases it to his wife "Soulless".

Lesson 2 You could die tomorrow so do something now

All of us need to work for money, mortgage, kids etc. but how many of us question and take the time to think what if we actually die tomorrow? This is exactly what happened to his character he dies at the end but weirdly he died happy. Wouldn't it be better to live a life on your terms and die happy then die miserably. Japan is known for having one of the worst work cultures there have been many incidents of people dying there due to overworking. The term used for this in Japanese is know as "Karoshi" which means "death by overwork". 

Lesson 3 Quitting your job may not be the answer

You may think you don't have the confidence or luxury to do what Lester Burnam did by quitting his cooperate job to go work in a Burger place and yes this isn't realistic for most people. However what is realistic for you and is going to make you happy?Quitting your job is often a last resort for many of you. If you know you can't quit your job due to financial reasons that's OK but make sure what you do changes your current working situation. Taking action sooner rather then later is the answer to this. Whether this be finding a new job, changing your career or even taking some leave from work to help you figure things out.

Lesson 4 Do you really want to turn into a bitter angry person who only cares about money?

Lester's wife is a very interesting character in the film She has her own real estate company which isn't doing very well and is very unhappy. The main difference between the two characters is she sees money as being important to her. Whilst he stops caring so much about money and what makes him happy. They say money is root of all evil. Its important to have money but sometimes just sometimes I see so many people so focused on it so much it effects their relationships and everything else. This sometimes leads them to becoming bitter and very unhappy is that really what you want? If you have money concerns right now talk to someone who can help you because being angry will lead you no where. Do you want to make your life  just about money? If the answer to this is a big no, why not take some time to think about all the things and people who make you happy in your life and start reaping the benefits of that. Enjoy your life now,don't not let small incidents be a set back.

Lesson 5 Live a life on your terms.

The characters of Lester Burnam and Ricky Fitts in this movie both starting living life on their terms. They were both in charge of their destiny. It may sound clichéd they are only movie characters lol. However how many people do you know who live their life on their terms and do it  their way, probably not many. For the few people who do you may think they are rebels or black sheep . You will see these people are probably a lot more happier then those who have tried to conform and please other people. If you live life to please others you will never be happy. Do what you want to before its too late. 

So these are the five lessons you can learn from this very powerful movie. Be happy in your life and career. If right now, if you aren't you can always change this. Just believe that you are your own master and commander no one else. You can do anything you want to do. Just remember to do it before its too late. We are all born ,live life and die so if you know you need to change something do it sooner rather then later.  So before that happens make sure you start living the life you want to right now.

Wishing you all the best

Soma x