What is your definition of success?

Success is something that we all feel pressure to be defined by and everyone’s perception of success is different.

In this video I ask three questions to help you come up with your definition of success in a way that is aligned with you.

1.       What is success to you?

2.       Why do you want your own success?

3.       Who do you feel in your life is an influence who has been successful?

Success comes from within but it’s also about how you feel about yourself. Everyone’s definition of it will be different because we are all unique in our own way. We come from different families, backgrounds and learn different values. Some of the values passed down to us may not be in alignment with us. For example, it’s becoming more common for many more women to go and study and earn incomes in countries that didn’t previously encourage this etc.

Many of the women I talk to feel a constant pressure to be a “successful mum”, “successful career women” successful wife etc. The list goes on. Truth is success isn’t about what others want for you but what you want for yourself.

If you strive for success for the wrong reasons it will show up. I have seen this with women who are seeking money for the wrong reasons. We all need money to help us pay for everything in life but if your values are about helping and creating for others and your job and career doesn’t fit this then this will impact on your success. The definition of success according to Collins dictionary “is the achievement of a high position in a particular field, for example in business or politics.” A lot of people define success in terms of their work and although this definition mirrors this it can sometimes be the overriding need to succeed that make many of us feel unhappy at work. If you are different to your family and friends you deserve your own definition of success don’t let it define you.

Many people see successful people and don’t see what may of come before that. In life many of these successful people have had to overcome something to get there. Life isn’t without struggle and this the common thread I see with people I know who are truly successful.

Imposter syndrome can also be linked to this need for success. This is something I spoke about in a post I did about my career unhappiness story see blog here.  Many of us feel we are chasing a cornfield that doesn’t exist when it comes to success and this makes us question who we are. Trust me I have done it myself.

Success should be about your wants, needs and what you want to do. It’s never about anyone else. A person who runs a well-known café in your area may be a success vs a project manager in a top IT company. It’s not about what looks better on paper necessarily this is something we have projected as a society. Sometimes if influential people online who sometimes make others feel inadequate. If you don’t want that it’s ok to admit this.

Success is a different for everyone because we all want different things. Not everyone wants a white picket fence, five-bedroom house etc. I am not saying you shouldn’t aim for more you should but do it because it’s what you want.

If you want to find out more about how I can help you with your version of success why not consider looking at the career mentoring services I offer here

What can I do if I can’t currently quit a job, I am unhappy in?

I often get asked this question quite a lot and it’s something I know many of you struggle with. One of the reasons why this is this is a common one is firstly it's a mindset piece. There are a lot of reasons and fears why people feel they can’t leave a job.

We all need finances

Financially, we all need money. Money is important to help us pay for the things we need including food, bills, rent, mortgage etc. Sometimes we don't look at how we can save money for a short period of time, before we have found another job. Or we put so much pressure on ourselves, that we end up staying in a job, longer than we need to.

What is the mindset behind why you can't quit? If you are the only parent, or the only person who is bringing in a stable income that allows you to pay rent pay for your mortgage pay for your bills, then, obviously it’s going to be trickier for you to leave a job that you're currently not happy with.

Have a financial plan

What I will say is it’s very important that you address if you can't leave that job that you think about having a financial plan. What I mean by that is writing down a list of everything that you pay for this includes paying for your bills, paying for food month to month. If you have children, your children's clothing, equipment etc. Or you have to pay for any other things that you like gym membership, beauty treatments etc. List everything down on a piece of paper and take some time to do this. Then have a rough estimate of how much financially you need in order to survive month to month week to week, then look at how much of that money is going towards each expense. See how much you have left over, if any and think about where you could save money. For example, Gym membership or unnecessary expenses like extra clothes or eating out etc just temporally so you have some savings.  This way you have something you can live off so you can slow build an exit strategy.

Exit Strategy

This exit strategy could be that you need to look for another job that is going to pay you what you're worth. If you want to read more about how you can do this please go back to the blog post I wrote, where I gave some tips and advice around what you can do to be paid what you're worth especially if you've not been promoted or had a pay rise within your company and you've been in your company for a while and you're not being valued for the work you do. Please go to this blog post here http://www.thecareerhappinessmentor.com/blog/2018/9/5/how-can-i-find-a-job-and-career-that-pays-me-what-i-truly-want

Make sure that you have an exit strategy I hear from a lot of women I talk to who feel they don't have any other choice. They may feel very overwhelmed and in a lot,  cases feel it’s not an option. This is where I want to say to you if that really is you, I firstly I just want to say, I understand the frustration with me saying have an exit strategy plan. I'm not saying to quit your job right now, quit your job in another four to six months, possibly, six months maximum. The longer you leave quitting your job, the harder it's going to be for you to leave. Most jobs require you to have a two to three month notice period so you also need to take this into account and think about ways you can start earning money if you plan effectively.  

Building your future

Bearing in mind if you have up to a maximum of five to six months to find a new job, you need to look for a new job at least every week. Spending at least three to four hours every week doing this will help increase your chances. If you have children, I know that may not be ideal because there's lots of things that you've got to do. This is where you may need to ask for support from other people. Maybe ask family or friends if you are alone or support from a partner if you get it or ex-partner etc. If the weekends are only time that you have. Perhaps spend an hour where you're applying for jobs, and you are on LinkedIn, and you're doing things that help you get to where you want to be.

This situation won’t last forever

When you're in a job, or when you're in a work environment you aren’t in this situation forever. No situation is ever permanent. Think about if you have to make some sacrifices right now how can this help you in the future?

In the same way, if you keep on thinking a situation is not going to change, this is where you need to take some affirmative action, and that doesn't just mean having an exit strategy. It means thinking about all the options on the table. So that could be some form of mentoring some form of counselling etc.

So not necessarily just asking for support with children if you have them. If you're a single parent asking for support for yourself because one of the main reasons why you haven't been able to leave your job is because there may be a lot of shame around leaving your job.

Scared of what other people will think?

Quitting your job is not as shameful is what you think. In fact, statistics now suggest a lot people do leave their jobs. Make sure you get your paid leave you get all of those things you need in order to enter into a new job. Money and finance is a necessity, I do understand that, but make sure you get extra support especially if you're being bullied at work, or you're dealing with a difficult company or maybe you have gone through something difficult within the workplace where you might need to ask for a lawyer’s support or someone else's support.

Ask for support

Ask for extra support, if you need it. And when I mean support I'm not just talking about your family and friends to help the children or help with extra things. One of the other reasons why people can't quit their job is because perhaps they're  financial situation may not be great or they have debts or in credit. Talk to somebody who's going to be able to help you be more financially savvy because if you're not quitting your job, just because of monetary reasons then you can turn this around.

Trust me, there's always a way around that and I think it's very important that people don't leave their job because money is holding them back.  I know for a lot of women I speak to are quite proud and have very good jobs and very good positions.  You need to be more financially savvy in general, and if you have debts build solutions to help pay them off. if I can be quite frank is you just need to think about where you get help? Do you need financial help? Do I need to career counselling, do I need just therapy etc

One of the reasons why you could feel conflicted in your current job is because maybe you're an abusive relationship so you're a single mom now, or maybe you've recently lost your partner to cancer Or maybe it could be that you've recently been diagnosed with an illness. because of that illness you know that if you take sick leave you're going to get, you know, a pay cut. There's always extra support that you can ask for but it needs to be support that is in alignment with you as an individual and your needs because there's no point staying in a job for the wrong reasons. Being in a career or job just for money it's very soul destroying.

Finding solutions to help you

There are ways that you can save money and there are ways that you can be clever around your finances, whilst also reinvesting that money, and this is where people need to educate themselves and also get support. So I really hope this blog post has helped, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Don't think that you can't quit your job, you can leave a job and get another job within six months but you need to have a plan. Have a exit strategy. get emotional support from as many people as possible, and in some cases financial support for a lot of the people will be reading this blog post so I really hope this helps you make a decision based on hope that fear.

 

 

Career Mentoring and how it can help you?

What is career mentoring?

Career mentoring is something that helps you be in a position you want be in. As a career mentor I will help you map out what you want, how you can get it and plan it in a way that suits your individual needs. If you haven’t experienced mentoring before it’s a form of guidance to help you move forward.

A mentor is a guide for their mentee and has experienced some of the challenges that they may already be facing themselves. They teach them strategies and techniques to help them overcome any issues they may be having.

I help the women I work with in a very bespoke way. There are elements of careers advice, guidance, coaching and mentoring all rolled into one.

It’s a safe collaborative relationship designed to help you move where you want to be in your career. Not where others think you should be or stick to a standard of something because it’s what is expected from you. For example, if you are working in an industry and have been taught to hold on to this status in society e.g. a lawyer or doctor. However, you want to start a business or change your career but worry what other people will say. I will work with you to overcome this and create a plan that is bespoke to you so you, so your career dream happens.

How it can it help you?

This depends on your current situation and where you are at. Most of the women who come to me are extremely bright and ambitious but feel scared, alone and often overwhelmed by life. They feel like only one route is the option for them. So, by taking up career mentoring you are opening your world to an array of possibilities. These possibilities can help you explore what your really want and who you want to be.

Some of the ways I can help is by mapping out training for a new career or profession. We can also look at any business ideas you may have and see what flexible working means to you. Or if you are seeking more in your career and have been playing it safe helping you work for organisations that you may have overlooked. Allowing you to explore what your values and beliefs are doing work you care about and can fall in love with.

My background in careers and psychology

In terms of how I can help you I have a background in Psychology and a Post graduate in careers guidance. I always knew I wanted to help people because my mum was a teacher and my dad was a family lawyer. It’s a value that has been instilled in me since I was young child. I have always been curious about people and their behaviour and find with all the different clients who have come to me even when I worked in schools. I never get bored of hearing their unique stories and career aspirations.

When you work with me I do give you careers advice where necessary, but I also help you look deeper then that. I have had my own struggles in my life and when I worked for Mind at 23 it completely changed how I wanted to work with people.

Due to my passion around mental health and my own personal struggles with depression, anxiety, workplace bullying and going though redundancy. I know working life can sometimes feel like a roller coaster. I am here to help you iron out those kinks and provide you with the solid support you need.

When I work with clients I incorporate psychology and mindset practices that have helped me too. I also spend time on my own self development and have worked with some successful business mentors.

The results I have created already.

I have helped several of my clients feel more confident about their careers and start acting on what they want.

  • This includes the mums I have helped restart their career.

  •  Women who were undervaluing their worth and going for jobs that fit their actual work experience and qualifications.

  • Helping women change industries and have the assertiveness to ask for a pay raise or promotion.

  • Empowering women to think about starting a business or go freelance.

How can I help you move forward in your career?

I am currently helping women shape their career journey by supporting them through the 12-week mentoring program I offer.

If you want to find out more about this and how to book a call, please go to the following link. http://www.thecareerhappinessmentor.com/career-happiness-mentoring/

How can I find a job and career that pays me what I truly want?

Money is something that affects all the women I talk to. They often ask me how can they find a job and career that not only fits their values but what they want in life too. So, I want to share some tips to help with this.

1. Why do you need the money you want?  

Be realistic and think about the main objectives behind what you need the money for? If you want to have more money what will it bring you and what is the goal behind attaining it? Don’t just go after the money and feel deflated once you get especially If it doesn’t fulfil you. Sometimes if you have more money you can overspend it so it’s important to make smart decisions. There is a saying the more you have of something the more we use it and the same goes for money itself.

2. What is the cost of living for you and does the money you earn impact on your lifestyle?

If you live in London or another expensive city important factors to consider are rent, living costs and day to day expenses this can factor into the money you want to earn. So be practical and realistic about this. Millionaires and six figure earners say money gives them freedom and flexibility. Remember though when you earn more money you may also pay higher tax rates. There is nothing wrong with wanting more money. Start thinking about, what do you need to, do so you can earn more? For example, do you want more then £4K per month. Do you need more money for your children or expecting a child? Perhaps you want to invest it in an ISA or bond? Lastly you may need to pay off debts, spend it on home renovations or a family holiday. Why is it important for your lifestyle and circumstances? Make a list of all the reasons you want to earn more money and put a why next to each reason. Then assess how important this list is to you. In some cases, you may need money to pay off an important debt. The most important debt that a lot of homeowners have is of course a mortgage.

3 .What do you think about money? (get your emotions around money sorted first. )

What does money mean to you and why is important to you emotionally. A fear of losing money can be a strong emotion for many especially if in their past this has happened to them.

Whenever money and emotions are mentioned to my clients they don’t always like talking about this. This is not to say that money is a bad thing but many of us are brought up to believe wanting more is bad. Your emotions around it may bring up things from your past. For example, did your family make you feel guilty about spending too much money when you brought something expensive for yourself and didn’t buy anyone anything else? Or did you live in a house where your parents were always struggling to keep up with payments and as a result you feel you aren’t good with money and it’s a tough subject for you talk about.

You may think it’s silly to think about money and emotions, but a lot of our money-making decisions can be linked to emotions. For example, when we go shopping how often do we feel driven by our favourite food items and stick to that without sometimes looking at the cost. In the UK we spend a lot on monthly food shops and it can be said we end up spending more when we see things on special offers or we spend less if we are budgeting.

A lot of financial psychologists say money and emotions are directly linked to our childhood and a passed down belief of “Do you really need that” may have been indirectly passed down to you. Thus, making you feel guilty when you have spent a lot of money even if you can afford it.

4. If you are being undervalued or underpaid do something about this.

Are you being undervalued and underpaid, if so. Why do you deserve more? If you aren’t getting paid what you want right now what are the legitimate reasons for wanting more.If you know you want more and are worth it discuss this and negotiate a salary with your boss or line manager.

It may help you to journal about all the ways in which you feel you have added value in the time you have been in your current job. If you have only been there a short while this may be harder to prove unless you increased sales or did something to redefine how others thought of you. If you are not able to get the salary you want really assess why do you need it.

For example, if you are buying a new house or need it to pay off something very important like outstanding credit card bills after you got married. Think about what it will cost you financially to live on a budget for a short while and in that time look at jobs you want and apply for them. It’s important you think of a figure you want to earn, so you can pay for all the things you want and need.  

If you have been preventing yourself from getting paid what you know you truly want and desire think about the tips discussed above. Think about why you need more money, what kind of lifestyle you want, what are the feelings around money and lastly are you acting to make sure you get paid what you want. Lastly your idea of what you want will be different to your friends and family. If you are reading this and know your emotions are coming from others around you sort out what you want first. 

If you want to carry on the conversation further around this please book in a call here

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 Great Interview Tips

This blog post is formulated to help you feel motivated for an upcoming interview. It may seem like the longest 30-45 minutes of your life but if you follow these tips you should have a better chance of having the kind of interview you want to be remembered for.

1.  Research – This is an essential part of the interview process and if you want to impress the employer is something you must think about. Research includes looking at what, the job role would involve. As well as looking into the company itself. Where are they based? How many offices do they have etc? What else do they do? etc. They may not ask you directly about the company but it’s important you show enthusiasm for the role and the organisation. This will also help you prepare any questions you may have for the interviewers towards the end of the interview.

2.  Prepare – If you get nervous about interviews preparing for your interview with small details like your outfit the night before, to the route you need to take. May help you feel more at ease. However, preparation also includes writing down potential questions you think you may be asked on the day and preparing your answers. It’s also about helping you prepare to be at best.  Research and your mindset are all ways of preparing as well as why you want a new job. There are no wrong or right ways in preparing but if it helps you feel more at ease this is the most important aspect of preparation. 

3.  Know your why – Your why is an important part of why you are job hunting and going for an interview in the first place. If you are not sure why you are going for a role its important you have clarity on this before you even, consider going to an interview. The clearer you are about this the better. For example, if you want more responsibility and the potential to learn more etc. This can be part of your why but also maybe you want more progression in a new job role which you aren’t getting right now. It’s likely if you are currently working they may ask “Why are you considering looking at other roles? This question will help them understand not only why but why they should hire you. 

4. Be yourself – If you want to be successful in an interview being yourself is the best thing you can possibly do. When I mean be yourself I mean don’t pretend to something you are not. I have heard various stories about candidates coming across amazingly in an interview and being someone else when they start working there. It’s important you are honest with your future employer and you also show you have integrity. So, bring your personality to do it even if you are a bit nervous don’t let this stop you showing the achievements you have.

If you feel this blog post has helped you and want more support around preparing for your interview I am running a 5-day interview preparation course starting very soon for all the details, please go to the following link and read the 5-day interview preparation course section. http://www.thecareerhappinessmentor.com/courses/

If you have any questions around this and want more 1 to 1 support, please feel free to book a call at the following link https://soma-ghosh.youcanbook.me/

Soma x

 

How to find career happiness - Strategies of dealing with unhappiness at work

This video and blog post is aimed at those of you who can't always leave their job straight away and gives you some strategies to deal with unhappiness before you find another job or go to pastures new.When you realise you are unhappy at work you can't always leave your job straight away. So this video and blog post gives you some strategies to deal with the unhappiness before you find another job or are able to plan for an alternative option. 

The three tips I share in the video are as as follows. 

1. Balance yourself everyday - I speak about meditation in this video this is a key practice to restoring balance in your life. You can practice meditation or mindfulness to help relieve stress and get rid of worrying thoughts. It also helps you keep calm and grounded. I would also add here by doing positive affirmations  every morning after you meditate your mind will also be focused on having a good day. An example of a positive affirmation to help you cope with your working day could be "I am going to have a good day today no matter what". This will help you stay in this positive frame of mind no matter how stressed or overwhelmed you may feel. It will also allow you to cope with the happiness in a calm way where you are not becoming anxious about feeling overwhelmed etc. To find some examples of affirmations you can visit youtube. 

2. Expressing your emotions - When you are unhappy at work you are likely to be suffering from a myriad of emotions and that's ok. Expressing these emotions can sometimes be really hard especially if you know you are putting on a bit of an act at work and pretending everything is ok when its not. This is where expressing your emotions is very important. Take some time to write in a journal either first thing in the morning or last thing at night. Write down free hand how you are feeling about everything for at least 10-15 minutes. Then read it back if you have had an especially horrible week or day at work this will help you reflect on your feelings and allow you to see how you feeling without bottling things up. You may have a friend or partner you can share your concerns with and talking to someone can also really help too. Be open and honest about your situation and remember if you are unhappy at work that's ok. Just be kind to yourself here and remember your situation isn't permanent its something you can get out. 

3. Exercise - If you are not releasing your emotions other feelings can also pop up. That is why exercise is an amazing way to release anger, stress and anxiety. If your unhappiness is causing you to feel depressed exercise can really help elevate your mood. When we exercise we release endorphins, Which is hormone that makes us feel good. It also helps us feel less stressed, energised and overall improves our mood. So exercising regularly whilst unhappy a work will help you cope day to day. If you feel frustrated at work and about your current situation this will help you feel more relaxed and release this frustration whilst helping you feel better. Notice periods can take time and this could help you cope with a long notice period at work or pending redundancy. 

4. Doing something fun - Your work life balance is important so it's important to do something fun just for you. This could be anything that you enjoy doing like going on a mini break, having a massage or doing something which is a hobby for you and spending the whole day doing it. For example if you like cooking maybe going to a cooking class for the day or doing something different like a dance class. This will help you to relax and not think about any work issues you may be having. Also its important to do things like this so that you remember the things you do life and you restore any unhappiness you may be feeling at work. 

I really hope that these tips help you whether you are thinking about getting a new job. Or have recently quit and are looking for a new job. It's important to remember however stressed you may feel now this time will pass and you will definitely get through it. 

If you want to find out more about "How to find your career happiness". I I did a series of videos on how to find career happiness watch the rest on the Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/The-Career-happiness-mentor-147585885401916/ 

 Other topics I spoke in this series included: 

  • 2 Key words to help define your definition of career happiness.

  • Your purpose and why

  • What your future looks like with career happiness

  • Action points to take towards getting Career happiness

If you are career unhappy and want to change this these videos will help kickstart this. For more 1-1 support especially if you are feeling really fed up and know now is the time to change please book in for a free consultation here https://soma-ghosh.youcanbook.me/ 

Hope you this blog encourges you in moving forward and wishing you career happiness for 2018. 

Many thanks 

Soma x