My career unhappiness story

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Here’s how it began

I was sitting in the doctors, when I started crying, I wondered is he going to think I'm completely nuts for crying he was a nice caring doctor. He gave me a tissue and reassured me that it was okay to cry, he wasn't going to judge me because I felt silly for crying. This happened in my mid 20s whilst going through the redundancy process it was so stressful the uncertainty of not knowing where I was going next was adding to this stress.

Everyone in my community of my generation are doctors, dentists, accountants, lawyers etc all the professions which are highbrow. I was never academic and couldn't pursue any of those professions. I'm not saying that I'm not intelligent, I've worked hard to be where I am. I know who I am. I know my opinion counts, it's why I created a business.

It can be very easy for all of us to feel like things are against us when you feel like you are not the brightest, not the smartest etc. We can all feel like failures we can feel as though we are not enough. I'm sharing this story with you, because I remember when I didn't get selected to be in my team I and was made redundant, that it wasn't anybody's fault. It was the universe's way of telling me that I was meant to learn and grow and do different things. I was grateful for the experience. And I was lucky I started a new job. I lost my job on the Friday started a new one on the Monday.

Imposter syndrome

I felt thankful that I had a job. When you go through something like redundancy, where you feel like a failure, or you have imposter syndrome which was what was happening to me when I went to this new job. I thought, who was to be in this job? I hadn't interviewed for this job, I've got the job through being redeployed. It's a seemed like a pity job. It knew wasn't a Pity job, but it seemed like that at the time. This voice wouldn't go away the inner voice, the imposter syndrome. The how did I end up here? What am I doing with my life? The who am I to be here voice came up and I felt I wasn’t good enough.  

Then when my cousin was diagnosed with a very serious health condition, I was devastated. I remember thinking because he was a year older than me, he had a very good job and worked for IBM. I thought what if that had been me? I remember I couldn't sleep properly at night, I was worrying. I was thinking, what was I going to do next, what direction was I going to go in? Luckily, I was living at home with my mom or my sister. So, it wasn't as though the world was going to come to an end in terms of finances and emotional support.

I think one of the reasons I found the whole redundancy process so stressful is because of how long it took it.  Sadly, my cousin died two years after that he suffered a lot, he had stomach cancer. Bad things happen, but it it's how we deal with the bad stuff and we can move forward and create something new. Really think about what you want? I knew that being that unhappy was not something where I was doing a disservice to myself. I wanted to write, I wanted to travel, I wanted to live my life because I kept on thinking if my cousin can get ill. What could happen to me? I hadn't even met my husband them. So I left my job to start a fresh and 5 years on I have this business where I help women find their version of career happiness.

Start making a change sooner rather then later.

If you feel like you're a failure, if you feel like you're not good enough, if you feel like you're going through imposter syndrome, there is something you can do about it, you can change can adapt your life, there will be risks involved, there will be a fears that come up. I took the leap and I left my job. I'm not saying that you need to leave your job. If you've got a family and kids and a mortgage etc, you may not be able to do this. What I am saying is, there is always an alternative if you feel pressure to be the kind of person that other people want you to be. It's because you're not thinking for yourself, you're internalizing what your real thoughts are. What I mean by that is, when I work with my clients, I make it about them. It's about them pushing forward so they can create the life they want.

It can only happen if you take the action required to get there. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to be like, Oh, yeah, I had it all figured out. No, it's taken me five years to get here. What I will say is that all journeys have a destination all of them and you need to find your destination sooner rather than later, so you can start living your career happiness.

If you want to find out how I can help you why not book a call here

 

 

 

 

 

How to find career happiness - Strategies of dealing with unhappiness at work

This video and blog post is aimed at those of you who can't always leave their job straight away and gives you some strategies to deal with unhappiness before you find another job or go to pastures new.When you realise you are unhappy at work you can't always leave your job straight away. So this video and blog post gives you some strategies to deal with the unhappiness before you find another job or are able to plan for an alternative option. 

The three tips I share in the video are as as follows. 

1. Balance yourself everyday - I speak about meditation in this video this is a key practice to restoring balance in your life. You can practice meditation or mindfulness to help relieve stress and get rid of worrying thoughts. It also helps you keep calm and grounded. I would also add here by doing positive affirmations  every morning after you meditate your mind will also be focused on having a good day. An example of a positive affirmation to help you cope with your working day could be "I am going to have a good day today no matter what". This will help you stay in this positive frame of mind no matter how stressed or overwhelmed you may feel. It will also allow you to cope with the happiness in a calm way where you are not becoming anxious about feeling overwhelmed etc. To find some examples of affirmations you can visit youtube. 

2. Expressing your emotions - When you are unhappy at work you are likely to be suffering from a myriad of emotions and that's ok. Expressing these emotions can sometimes be really hard especially if you know you are putting on a bit of an act at work and pretending everything is ok when its not. This is where expressing your emotions is very important. Take some time to write in a journal either first thing in the morning or last thing at night. Write down free hand how you are feeling about everything for at least 10-15 minutes. Then read it back if you have had an especially horrible week or day at work this will help you reflect on your feelings and allow you to see how you feeling without bottling things up. You may have a friend or partner you can share your concerns with and talking to someone can also really help too. Be open and honest about your situation and remember if you are unhappy at work that's ok. Just be kind to yourself here and remember your situation isn't permanent its something you can get out. 

3. Exercise - If you are not releasing your emotions other feelings can also pop up. That is why exercise is an amazing way to release anger, stress and anxiety. If your unhappiness is causing you to feel depressed exercise can really help elevate your mood. When we exercise we release endorphins, Which is hormone that makes us feel good. It also helps us feel less stressed, energised and overall improves our mood. So exercising regularly whilst unhappy a work will help you cope day to day. If you feel frustrated at work and about your current situation this will help you feel more relaxed and release this frustration whilst helping you feel better. Notice periods can take time and this could help you cope with a long notice period at work or pending redundancy. 

4. Doing something fun - Your work life balance is important so it's important to do something fun just for you. This could be anything that you enjoy doing like going on a mini break, having a massage or doing something which is a hobby for you and spending the whole day doing it. For example if you like cooking maybe going to a cooking class for the day or doing something different like a dance class. This will help you to relax and not think about any work issues you may be having. Also its important to do things like this so that you remember the things you do life and you restore any unhappiness you may be feeling at work. 

I really hope that these tips help you whether you are thinking about getting a new job. Or have recently quit and are looking for a new job. It's important to remember however stressed you may feel now this time will pass and you will definitely get through it. 

If you want to find out more about "How to find your career happiness". I I did a series of videos on how to find career happiness watch the rest on the Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/The-Career-happiness-mentor-147585885401916/ 

 Other topics I spoke in this series included: 

  • 2 Key words to help define your definition of career happiness.

  • Your purpose and why

  • What your future looks like with career happiness

  • Action points to take towards getting Career happiness

If you are career unhappy and want to change this these videos will help kickstart this. For more 1-1 support especially if you are feeling really fed up and know now is the time to change please book in for a free consultation here https://soma-ghosh.youcanbook.me/ 

Hope you this blog encourges you in moving forward and wishing you career happiness for 2018. 

Many thanks 

Soma x 

 

 

Should you quit your job if you are unhappy at work?

Should you quit your job if you are unhappy at work?  It depends on the situation but sometimes it can be the release that some of the women I work with need. Having said that it’s not the solution for everyone because if there are financial obligations or children involved it’s not that simple. Especially if additional support systems are not in place like savings, family etc.

In the video above I address some the key factors to think about before you hand your notice in and whether it's the right choice for you. 

1, Why - What is the why behind your lack of enjoyment. Is it the people you work with, work environment, lack of progression etc. Make sure you take some time to really pinpoint the why behind the unhappiness and reasons for wanting to leave. if the reasons are manageable and you know you can't quit due to financial or family obligations then quitting may not be the answer for you. 

2. Possible solutions - Think about what solutions you can plan towards before you quit. Finding another job, changing your career. Doing another job which uses the transferable skills you have. Or if you are interested in going freelance and starting a business. Where can you get this support and who can you be networking with to help to plan towards this? Having some possible solutions in place will help keep you motivated towards a goal so you are not leaving a job without a strategy. it's important to think about what you think will help create your career happiness. 

3. A list of all the worst possible things that could happen. - Making this list is important to help you realise what your fears and anxieties are around quitting your job. It could be that when you read it back it's not actually that bad and maybe you are able to survive on your savings for a few months. Or maybe you are self sabotaging and feeling influenced by what others may say about you if you quit. However if you read it back and money is an issue or you have debts, mortgages and other things you are responsible for then maybe quitting is not the best case scenario for you right now. 

So should you quit the job you are unhappy in? This is really about your mindset and your capacity to thrive. If you know you have no other option and it's making miserable and causing you havoc maybe it is the right option. Having a plan is key here whether you can quit or not. It's possible you have to go through a bit of short term pain in order to reach your dream job. Either way I would say stay true to your convictions and follow your instincts because if you know there are bigger and better things are around the corner for you quitting your job could be the best you ever do. 

If you want to find out more about this and how I can help you further with your career mentoring needs please feel free to send me a message on the contact page http://www.thecareerhappinessmentor.com/contact-2/ or you can book a free 1 hour consultation with me at the following link https://soma-ghosh.youcanbook.me/ 

Go and seek your true definition of career happiness. 

Much Love 

Soma x 

 

Do you fear what others will think of you if you quit your job?

A women I spoke to once told me she didn't want to quit her job because she felt others would judge her. I asked her why this would be such a problem for her and she said that what others thought meant a lot to her. I then went on to ask her "Are you happy where you work". Her consistent answer was always "NO" So if this be the case why are you still there!! Do you let others dictate your future for you. This women certainly was and as a result was allowing her own happiness to be on the back burner. The people we surround ourselves with are very important. Robin Sharma says "Choose your influences well". If your friends and family don't support your decision to quit and persuade you to say in a job where you are unhappy ask yourself who is suffering more you or them.

I would advocate you take up some of the following tips:

1. Avoid listening to all such statement such as "If you don't work where will the money come from" or" Are you sure its kind of unrealistic to quit if you have't got a job lined up etc.

2. If people don't support you give them ultimatums or ignore them for a while.

3. Stand firm on your decisions about your career and life. Don't allow your family or friends to talk you into a life you don't want. If you know its not for you just quit sooner rather then later.

4. Type up your resignation letter. This may seem a scary but it makes it more real especially if you have been putting it off.

I would say whatever decision you make sure its yours and yours alone. I don't advocate quitting but if you know you can't take it anymore then do it. Remain postive about your future and dreams and go for what you want.

Much love and allow this decision to be yours not anyone elses.

Soma x

 

Stay true to yourself

Is your job and career changing who you are as a person if so ask yourself how and why did this happen? Society tells us we need to get married have a steady job, and have children. But what do you actually want in your life and career? Do you feel you have lived the kind of life you actually wanted to? If not what is stopping you. Yes its never easy to live a life where you stand up for what you really want, but if you know it will make you a happier, stronger person isn't that a better way to live.

As Baz Lurhrmann puts it "A life lived in fear... is a life half-lived".Fear holds us back from pursuing many of the dreams and ambitions we have in out life but isn't it better we embrace our fears head on rather then let them work against us.

For anyone reading this who feels their career isn't enough for them right now ask yourself three questions.

1. Why are you unhappy in your job?

2. What do you think needs to change so you are happy?

3. Did you have a dream whilst in high school to pursue a different career, if so what happened?

I want you to think about all these questions and answer them as honestly as possible. Have you always been true to yourself and who you are as a person, whilst on this career journey of yours. Yes not all of our dreams come true but if you believe in something it will happen. This does take time and dedication but if you really believe in your purpose then it should be worth it.

At the Oscar winning screenplay writer Graham Moore said in his Oscar speech "Stay weird, Stay different". If you feel like an outsider in your work situation its properly because your heart is desiring something else. Yes the whole concept of heart over matter may not seem realistic to you. Especially if you need to pay your mortgage, but what if it leads you to a better life. Never allow yourself to compromise on your dreams and become someone you aren't. The only person who will end up unhappy is you. So if you know that high powered job you have pays the bills but doesn't feed your soul maybe its time to think about changing sooner that later.

If you know you need to change things for the better and want to have a 30 minute chat with please visit this linkhttp://www.thecareerhappinessmentor.com/contact-2/  and fill in the contact form so that we set this up for you. 

Much love and always remain true to you

Soma x

 

 

Do you feel like you are treated like a resource not a human being?

This was a statement given by someone when I was doing my research on why they were unhappy in their work "I feel like I am treated as a resource and not a human being" Is this how you feel when you at you work be honest even if its not something you really want to admit. I remember I felt a bit like this especially when external colleagues only phoned me to get information. I felt like a information resource and not a colleague.

So I wonder where does this stem from is it office mentality? Your boss? Or is just the fact that you unsatisfied and that work makes us feel this way. Sometimes its the actual people who we work with that make us feel this way and not the job itself. I remember working as a temp somewhere. One day my entire schedule had been changed without me be notified after two weeks of doing the same schedule. It took me nearly two hours to travel there,  I was then told that a new permanent staff member was given preference over me. I was annoyed but more then that I felt like I was treated as an extra part they could access when they needed me not because they actually wanted me there.

Feeling undervalued at work makes us feel all sorts of emotions. Appreciation we all need a little bit or a lot depending on how important this is to us as individuals. A very wise friend of mine once said "Don't expect anything from anyone". I think our expectations are in line with the appreciation we seek from others around us. Do you feel appreciated in you life and work? If the answer is no you may need to ask yourself why?

Many of the clients I speak to feel unappreciated at work. They feel like their managers don't really respect them and colleagues belittle them. Does this sound familiar? Unfortunately this is something I also felt when I  worked in schools. Some of the teachers I worked alongside didn't understand what I did as a careers adviser in the school. I hate to admit this but it did feel like they almost looked down on me. Especially if the word "connexions" was mentioned. At first I thought maybe this just happens to me but when I spoke to other colleagues many of them were actually in the same boat. I realised a lot of this was do with the individual school and how they appreciated careers advice. In one of the schools I in worked I had the headmaster give me referrals, he wanted me involved in the school and put his pupils first.

So what does appreciation feel like to you? Is it feeling valued and as though you are wanted and people are asking for your help. Are you recognised for the good work you do and given extra responsibility. Feeling like a resource goes hand in hand with feeling unappreciated. Give yourself the love you want. If you know deep in your gut your job and career undervalues you, and makes you feel like a resource ask yourself what you can do change this.Only you have the power to change but until you take the action to this it won't happen.

Wishing you all the best 

Soma x