Success is something that we all feel pressure to be defined by and everyone’s perception of success is different.
In this video I ask three questions to help you come up with your definition of success in a way that is aligned with you.
1. What is success to you?
2. Why do you want your own success?
3. Who do you feel in your life is an influence who has been successful?
Success comes from within but it’s also about how you feel about yourself. Everyone’s definition of it will be different because we are all unique in our own way. We come from different families, backgrounds and learn different values. Some of the values passed down to us may not be in alignment with us. For example, it’s becoming more common for many more women to go and study and earn incomes in countries that didn’t previously encourage this etc.
Many of the women I talk to feel a constant pressure to be a “successful mum”, “successful career women” successful wife etc. The list goes on. Truth is success isn’t about what others want for you but what you want for yourself.
If you strive for success for the wrong reasons it will show up. I have seen this with women who are seeking money for the wrong reasons. We all need money to help us pay for everything in life but if your values are about helping and creating for others and your job and career doesn’t fit this then this will impact on your success. The definition of success according to Collins dictionary “is the achievement of a high position in a particular field, for example in business or politics.” A lot of people define success in terms of their work and although this definition mirrors this it can sometimes be the overriding need to succeed that make many of us feel unhappy at work. If you are different to your family and friends you deserve your own definition of success don’t let it define you.
Many people see successful people and don’t see what may of come before that. In life many of these successful people have had to overcome something to get there. Life isn’t without struggle and this the common thread I see with people I know who are truly successful.
Imposter syndrome can also be linked to this need for success. This is something I spoke about in a post I did about my career unhappiness story see blog here. Many of us feel we are chasing a cornfield that doesn’t exist when it comes to success and this makes us question who we are. Trust me I have done it myself.
Success should be about your wants, needs and what you want to do. It’s never about anyone else. A person who runs a well-known café in your area may be a success vs a project manager in a top IT company. It’s not about what looks better on paper necessarily this is something we have projected as a society. Sometimes if influential people online who sometimes make others feel inadequate. If you don’t want that it’s ok to admit this.
Success is a different for everyone because we all want different things. Not everyone wants a white picket fence, five-bedroom house etc. I am not saying you shouldn’t aim for more you should but do it because it’s what you want.
If you want to find out more about how I can help you with your version of success why not consider looking at the career mentoring services I offer here