What is your definition of success?

Success is something that we all feel pressure to be defined by and everyone’s perception of success is different.

In this video I ask three questions to help you come up with your definition of success in a way that is aligned with you.

1.       What is success to you?

2.       Why do you want your own success?

3.       Who do you feel in your life is an influence who has been successful?

Success comes from within but it’s also about how you feel about yourself. Everyone’s definition of it will be different because we are all unique in our own way. We come from different families, backgrounds and learn different values. Some of the values passed down to us may not be in alignment with us. For example, it’s becoming more common for many more women to go and study and earn incomes in countries that didn’t previously encourage this etc.

Many of the women I talk to feel a constant pressure to be a “successful mum”, “successful career women” successful wife etc. The list goes on. Truth is success isn’t about what others want for you but what you want for yourself.

If you strive for success for the wrong reasons it will show up. I have seen this with women who are seeking money for the wrong reasons. We all need money to help us pay for everything in life but if your values are about helping and creating for others and your job and career doesn’t fit this then this will impact on your success. The definition of success according to Collins dictionary “is the achievement of a high position in a particular field, for example in business or politics.” A lot of people define success in terms of their work and although this definition mirrors this it can sometimes be the overriding need to succeed that make many of us feel unhappy at work. If you are different to your family and friends you deserve your own definition of success don’t let it define you.

Many people see successful people and don’t see what may of come before that. In life many of these successful people have had to overcome something to get there. Life isn’t without struggle and this the common thread I see with people I know who are truly successful.

Imposter syndrome can also be linked to this need for success. This is something I spoke about in a post I did about my career unhappiness story see blog here.  Many of us feel we are chasing a cornfield that doesn’t exist when it comes to success and this makes us question who we are. Trust me I have done it myself.

Success should be about your wants, needs and what you want to do. It’s never about anyone else. A person who runs a well-known café in your area may be a success vs a project manager in a top IT company. It’s not about what looks better on paper necessarily this is something we have projected as a society. Sometimes if influential people online who sometimes make others feel inadequate. If you don’t want that it’s ok to admit this.

Success is a different for everyone because we all want different things. Not everyone wants a white picket fence, five-bedroom house etc. I am not saying you shouldn’t aim for more you should but do it because it’s what you want.

If you want to find out more about how I can help you with your version of success why not consider looking at the career mentoring services I offer here

What can you do to find your dream job and career?

Finding your dream job can be overwhelming and seem impossible. Especially if you are used to do a certain job. Or have fallen into a career because on paper it looked great, yet it just didn’t meet the expectations you wanted.

Many women who become mums are juggling a good work life balance and if you are someone who got a job through a graduate scheme. Or took on the first role you could get after finishing school or college and went through job to job. The never-ending cycle of not knowing what you want vs slowing down to figure this out can be a challenge.

I want to share some practical tips to help you realise that finding your dream career isn’t as hard as you think it is.

Work on your mindset

Your mindset affects every single area of your life including finding a job or career you love. If you are negative about this, it just won’t happen. Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but it’s true. If you really want to go for your dream career this may involve you making some changes. These changes can be big like investing in a course or leaving your career to set up a business etc. This isn’t always what people like hearing or admitting and that’s because it’s hard and requires a lot of commitment and dedication. This is however where I believe if you have the right attitude a lot can change for you. If you approach you dream job journey as a positive one that you ride out even when things don’t go according to plan you will get there. It’s Important that everybody has a positive mindset whilst looking for a job and stay consistent with it no matter what happens.

If you are really struggling with your mindset think about what you could be doing to stop any negative patterns you may have. For example, if you know you your family and friend won’t support your dream aspirations what can you so that you are around people who do support you. Perhaps you can join a group who have similar interests or get a mentor or coach who can help you.

If you constantly doubt your abilities this will hinder your mindset don’t allow your own voice gremlins to control you. If you then that dream career you want just won’t ever happen. I see this a lot with my clients. It’s also happened to me before to. Things like “Can I really change my career after being a teacher for 10 years”. Or “Is this the right thing for me to do now when I know others need my support”. The self-doubt can come in way to protect ourselves. We do it so we don’t take action because it’s easier to stay where we are comfortable then to the embrace the thing that really scares us. This can also be linked to women who want a pay rise or want a better role. They may look at their dream organisation and wonder if I apply for this role will I even get an interview, and this can prevent bright and ambitious women like you from getting what you want.

What does your dream job look like?

So, imagine you are in your dream job and career right now what does it look like? Are you in position where you feel like you have creative control and can be more the person you want to be?

What responsibilities and duties do you have now that you didn’t have before?

The more you can visualise what your dream career looks like the more it can happen if you work on your mindset first.

So, I want to leave you with an exercise to help with this. Why not take at least 20-30 minutes or more to journal on what your dream career looks like. Think about all the details you want. Who you would be working with? Where you would be working? Also, why is it your dream job and what makes it different to your current situation? This question is an important one to reflect on because if you not happy with your current career or job there is reason behind this, and you need something else because it’s missing. Please note this is important to you as individual. It could be you know your dream job allows you to travel more. Or that you the dream career you have is helping others or making a bigger impact with the organisation itself etc. Think about what speaks exclusively to you here.

How can move forward now?

Once you have figured out why you want to change your current situation it’s important to take some action and do something about it.

If you know your dream career involves you working for yourself what steps can you take to make this happen?

The role you are working in now although it’s not what you love 100% could help in providing your mortgage or rent money. So perhaps you can start going to seminars or talks that inspire new business owners to see if it’s something you really want. Then from there think about setting up slowly whilst working etc.

If you know career change is on the cards what is it, you know you need to improve your situation? Apply for a course, research your options get a mentor etc.

One of the main reasons someone may struggle with the moving forward is because they need a bit of help getting there.

So, if you think this could be you, I would love to support you? To find out if you we could be good fit as mentee and mentor why send me message here

If you have any further questions, please get in touch.

Much love

Soma x