Do you fear what others will think of you if you quit your job?

A women I spoke to once told me she didn't want to quit her job because she felt others would judge her. I asked her why this would be such a problem for her and she said that what others thought meant a lot to her. I then went on to ask her "Are you happy where you work". Her consistent answer was always "NO" So if this be the case why are you still there!! Do you let others dictate your future for you. This women certainly was and as a result was allowing her own happiness to be on the back burner. The people we surround ourselves with are very important. Robin Sharma says "Choose your influences well". If your friends and family don't support your decision to quit and persuade you to say in a job where you are unhappy ask yourself who is suffering more you or them.

I would advocate you take up some of the following tips:

1. Avoid listening to all such statement such as "If you don't work where will the money come from" or" Are you sure its kind of unrealistic to quit if you have't got a job lined up etc.

2. If people don't support you give them ultimatums or ignore them for a while.

3. Stand firm on your decisions about your career and life. Don't allow your family or friends to talk you into a life you don't want. If you know its not for you just quit sooner rather then later.

4. Type up your resignation letter. This may seem a scary but it makes it more real especially if you have been putting it off.

I would say whatever decision you make sure its yours and yours alone. I don't advocate quitting but if you know you can't take it anymore then do it. Remain postive about your future and dreams and go for what you want.

Much love and allow this decision to be yours not anyone elses.

Soma x

 

Stay true to yourself

Is your job and career changing who you are as a person if so ask yourself how and why did this happen? Society tells us we need to get married have a steady job, and have children. But what do you actually want in your life and career? Do you feel you have lived the kind of life you actually wanted to? If not what is stopping you. Yes its never easy to live a life where you stand up for what you really want, but if you know it will make you a happier, stronger person isn't that a better way to live.

As Baz Lurhrmann puts it "A life lived in fear... is a life half-lived".Fear holds us back from pursuing many of the dreams and ambitions we have in out life but isn't it better we embrace our fears head on rather then let them work against us.

For anyone reading this who feels their career isn't enough for them right now ask yourself three questions.

1. Why are you unhappy in your job?

2. What do you think needs to change so you are happy?

3. Did you have a dream whilst in high school to pursue a different career, if so what happened?

I want you to think about all these questions and answer them as honestly as possible. Have you always been true to yourself and who you are as a person, whilst on this career journey of yours. Yes not all of our dreams come true but if you believe in something it will happen. This does take time and dedication but if you really believe in your purpose then it should be worth it.

At the Oscar winning screenplay writer Graham Moore said in his Oscar speech "Stay weird, Stay different". If you feel like an outsider in your work situation its properly because your heart is desiring something else. Yes the whole concept of heart over matter may not seem realistic to you. Especially if you need to pay your mortgage, but what if it leads you to a better life. Never allow yourself to compromise on your dreams and become someone you aren't. The only person who will end up unhappy is you. So if you know that high powered job you have pays the bills but doesn't feed your soul maybe its time to think about changing sooner that later.

If you know you need to change things for the better and want to have a 30 minute chat with please visit this linkhttp://www.thecareerhappinessmentor.com/contact-2/  and fill in the contact form so that we set this up for you. 

Much love and always remain true to you

Soma x

 

 

What does your work actually mean to you?

Everyone works for different reasons some people work for money, some because they love what they do but sometimes there  are some people who work because they feel they have to.

So is your job a means to end? I remember asking a old colleague of mine why they worked where they did. It was evident by their attitude they didn't like their job as they always complained "I am bored". So I asked them why do you work here then quite directly. At first they were shocked but they said "Because I have to do something". I then remember asking them what do you actually want to do and they said "No idea". How many people who go from job to job like they this individual feel this way? I am not judging anyone here but I feel its important if you want to work it should be doing something that you enjoy and not because you need to.

Question is how many of you work right now because society tells you have to not because you want to. Yes nobody through choice wants to be on job seekers allowance and am not trying to encourage that here. But what if you had the choice to work because you wanted to do not because you had to? Think about that for a second it may seem strange why I am talking about this as many of you may feel the same thing "We all have to work don't we?" Yes wouldn't be better if this was out of choice rather then necessity. In fact why can't it be both.

The meaning of work according to the online dictionary includes:

1.activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a result.

2. a task or tasks to be undertaken.

Do either of these definitions fit in to how you interpret work probably not. My point is that work by our individual minds can be interpreted in so many different ways. The person who works as banker cashier is no different to a business owner who runs a flower shop. What is different is the activity they engage and perhaps their attitude to their work. Lets take these examples the cashier may of landed this role right after leaving school and feels trapped in this role they feel they can't go anywhere else. Whilst the florist owner made the conscious decision to open up their own business and be their own boss. This example could also be the other way round but I am trying to say how many of us have made conscious decisions to be were we right now. Some of us may have, as have I but not everyone does. I am not saying this is a bad thing but many of us feel the expectations put on us so great its hard to achieve what we actually want.

Work is important to people in different ways. I hear may people saying if I don't work I can't pay the bills or mortgage. This is so important definitely but has the need for having to work been overridden by actually doing something you really love. It's never too late to change your job or career. I have seen so many people do this successfully and helped people with their individual transitions. Yet sometimes society and the people we surround ourselves with stop this from happening.

Redundancy is a key factor in changing people's attitude to work. I remember when I was at risk of redundancy I felt vulnerable and wasn't sure about what I would do, if I lost my job it was a constant worry for me. Many people feel like who they are as individuals is put into question. Their work means so much to them it may feel like a part of them is being chipped away. Having been through this myself its not nice seeing your work colleagues angry, frustrated and upset. Your work is important but there are so many things which are even more important when it comes down to it. Like your family and health etc.  The work you do is only one element of your life it shouldn't define who you are.

So what does your work really mean to you? This is something only you can answer. For me my work is my mission to help professional women seek happiness in your careers and find something they really want. This makes me happy. What makes you happy and how can you implement this happiness in your work?

Many thanks

Soma x

 

Do you have a nightmare boss?

Photo by BakiBG/iStock / Getty Images
Photo by BakiBG/iStock / Getty Images

Do you have a boss that is is a complete nightmare? If so how do you cope with it? I myself have had a horrible boss and a few senior managers who didn't always play fair game. The worst was when one of my bosses took me aside and shouted at me for doing things she never actually explained in the first place. My first reaction was shock that it even happened. My second reaction was having to go and have a good old cry in the toilets because I was so upset. Apparently the number one reason people hate their job is a horrible boss. This may not surprise you but 53% - said they would be too scared to raise concerns over bullying compared with just 25% two years ago."(ACAS). This is concerning statistic because how many of you are harnessed by or boss and seniors and never report it. I know people and have had clients, who come to me saying their boss is making their life hell and they don't know what to about it. I managed to deal with it in my own way but the best way to deal with a bully is to not let them get to. 

Some if the things I did to prevent further outbursts from them were:

1. Stay on top of my work - I always made sure I was two steps ahead as they would check via phone and email.

2. I didn't let their insecurities get to me - The manager I worked with didn't actually seem to like their job and it felt like they put this out on me.

3. Keeping my head down - I never told anyone how I felt about my boss. They got my colleagues to spy on me to make sure I was working this stopped happening after a while but I never told anyone how unhappy I was in the office.

4. I kept at it - This was a temporary role for me so I carried on working there. If it had been a permanent role I would have probably left.

No boss or work place bully is worth the hassle or the time of getting too upset over. A lot of the time the bosses that may be horrible to you may have a horrible boss themselves. Remember behavior is like a mirror and this sometimes reflects to other people. Most of the horrible boss stories I have heard, have been more to do with the bully then the victim. It may feel like a personal attack on you but Its mainly because the other person has their own insecurities and likes to take it out on other people. Also power can be an ugly creature, sometimes too much power given to the wrong people can make them abuse their power of position and do pretty much what they want.

To anyone reading this right now who may be facing a similar situation, don't let your nightmare boss be the cause of you leaving your job. If you can't take it anymore then fine leave but no one has a right to be treated badly by a senior. If you want to show them up then work hard and earn the rewards you deserve don't let them win.

When I look bad on my horrible boss incident I feel I have become a stronger person as a result of it. I never confronted them but I didn't want to play tit for tat. To be honest what would it have achieved? I felt in my heart just because they are nasty doesn't mean I want to be. Also I really believed if I behaved badly towards them this would be make me just as bad as them and I am not like them at all.

So if you are feel like your boss is like a Evil Queen or King don't rise it. You are better then that.

All the best 

Soma x 

What is your calling?

When you wake up in the morning what is your true purpose or calling? For many it can be their family. Some people feel its their responsibility to look after their family and thus in turn the job they have can relate to this.

So what is a calling really? We are obviously not talking about phoning a friend here lol. It all depends on your own unique interpretation but a calling can also be described as "An inner urge or a strong impulse,especially one believed to be divinely inspired." or it can be a "An occupation,profession or career. " This definition is according to the online dictionary. 

So what do feel is your calling? I know in my heart I always wanted to help people. I didn't always know how, I would do it but helping people was something very important to me. What's important to you? Is it the kind of job you want are looking for an executive position or do you want a job you truly fall in love with. Your values in life can help define what you calling is in life.

If we think about a calling being a spiritual path. How were lead to that point? Was it something that happened to you. Or did you just have a moment where you realised the calling you once so truly treasured doesn't exist anymore. We all change as people and sometimes the calling we had when we were younger isn't always the thing we actually pursue later in life.

Many of the women I speak to tell me they always had a passion for art or something creative yet they work in a city job. There isn't anything wrong with this but I do hear regret in their voice. Then when I ask them why did you study and peruse more studies. I mostly always get  the same answer. "Because my family wanted me to ". I like these women have also followed this path. I love what I do I truly do but sometimes the calling and desire we really want is put on hold by the family we love so much. We want to make them proud of us and part of that is compromising what we actually would like to do.

So what is your calling? Is it a desire to start a new business. Change your current career. Or get a job where you are actually happy.

Whatever it is make sure you plan it well.Don't let fear and other people's negative energy from creating what you really in your life. Start creating it sooner rather then later. You will see once you follow your true calling you will be more authentic and this will represent the real you. Yes there will be challenges but if you are feeling to face such challenges then your calling is worth fighting for.

Wishing you all the best. 

Soma x 

 

 

Dream job post

Monika is a hard working passionate and ambitious woman who when she met me told me she had experience in several jobs. However she wanted to focus on her dream job. Monika’s marketing experience includes working for Karen Millen and Mango. So what did Monika want to change, she didn’t want to go back to marketing. Her dream when she spoke to me this was surrounding change making and helping empower woman!! It was quickly realised that if she wanted to be in her dream job she would need to go back to basics. This is a big change for her and like with any career job or job changer realising this is never easy.

So how did Soma help her!!

See for yourself what she said about working with me.

Soma has a great open approach; she really listened to my individual needs and asks exactly the questions that I needed to hear to get the clarity I needed. She is also very dedicated, makes you feel that you have all the possible support and tools that you may need to take your career to the next level. I was very pleased with her service and I got my dream job! Soma provides you with a lot of support after the session too and shares different tools and techniques to be even more effective in the job search. I would definitely recommend SGcareers as it’s a service tailored to every person’s needs and is a great support to achieve your career goals, even if you have no idea where you want to get to. Very professional, experienced and above all great commitment- you really feel you are being taken care of as a client."

Monika will be starting her internship for Thomson Reuters very soon so that she can fulfil her ambition to work within international development and make a real difference to the things that she is passionate about.

Do you want to have that dream job but have no idea where to start?

Please get in touch for a consultation today so that we can help you with your new adventure today!!

Wishing you the best with your careers.

Visit my contact page for any queries you may have and fill in the contact page if you want to talk to me. http://www.thecareerhappinessmentor.com/contact-2/ 

Soma x.

What's the fire in your belly?

What is the fire in your belly? When it comes to to what you do? Do you feel passion for it and are you excited about the possibilities that could come your way. If not maybe that fire in your belly has gone or maybe you didn't have it in the first place. What can you do to ignite it with your real purpose in life? So you may someone who is in a job right now and feels unsatisfied right now if this is you think about why you feel this way. Did you enjoy what you did in the beginning and your excitement for it burned out. Lets think about this logically what changed was it the job or you? Its OK to admit to these things don't deny how you feel. It could be a case that you know the role you are currently in was never what you wanted to do in the first place. However you have ended up staying there because without realizing it you have given up on that fire in belly and the dreams you had ages ago. You have listened to other people about having a stable job, mortgage and 2.point five children but what is that you really desire? Do you even want any of these things or has society and your family been telling you this is what you must do.

So what do I mean about this fire in your belly then?  Simply really think about a time you got something new whether it be a new car, phone or pet. How did you feel about it? Excited, happy, passionate think deeply about all the emotions you felt and why you felt this way. When we open up to all the possibilities we have this can shine a light on what we actually want. The point I am trying to make is do you feel excited about your job and want to go to work everyday? Wouldn't this be a great feeling? You could still really love the work you are involved with but for some reason the environment or the colleagues you work with are causing you to fan the flames of the fire in your belly. You feel fed up, frustrated and see no way out.

So put simply what excites you at work? Whatever role you are in right now what do you enjoy? Is it the creativity, helping someone or just simply solving a problem in a job and finding a solution to this. We all enjoy different things and get job satisfaction from different things but remember if you don't have a fire in your belly that's OK too. What I mean by this is not everyone is driven by passion some people work as a means to end. However isn't it better and more inspirational to think about the fact that this fire is keeping you going everyday. Knowing you do the thing you love.

Wouldn't the feeling of having job that didn't feel like a job be a great feeling? Enjoyment can come in many forms but if you aren't  fulfilled the fire in belly isn't set alight. You can work hard to achieve something but if your  heart isn't quite there this will show in one form or another. The phrase working hard and working smart comes to mind. We can all work the hardest we can but is it really want we want to do.

So if you know your passions aren't currently in what you do, think about how you can change this. It could be as simply as talking to someone who you know you can confide in. Don't let your fear of being true to yourself hold you back from what you really want.I also want you to ask yourself what is your purpose in life? If you know working in a career where you are bored and unmotivated isn't the answer take the necessary steps to come out of this. This won't happen overnight Rome wasn't built in day so your change will take time don't rush it. 

Wishing you all the best

Soma x 

Do you feel like you are treated like a resource not a human being?

This was a statement given by someone when I was doing my research on why they were unhappy in their work "I feel like I am treated as a resource and not a human being" Is this how you feel when you at you work be honest even if its not something you really want to admit. I remember I felt a bit like this especially when external colleagues only phoned me to get information. I felt like a information resource and not a colleague.

So I wonder where does this stem from is it office mentality? Your boss? Or is just the fact that you unsatisfied and that work makes us feel this way. Sometimes its the actual people who we work with that make us feel this way and not the job itself. I remember working as a temp somewhere. One day my entire schedule had been changed without me be notified after two weeks of doing the same schedule. It took me nearly two hours to travel there,  I was then told that a new permanent staff member was given preference over me. I was annoyed but more then that I felt like I was treated as an extra part they could access when they needed me not because they actually wanted me there.

Feeling undervalued at work makes us feel all sorts of emotions. Appreciation we all need a little bit or a lot depending on how important this is to us as individuals. A very wise friend of mine once said "Don't expect anything from anyone". I think our expectations are in line with the appreciation we seek from others around us. Do you feel appreciated in you life and work? If the answer is no you may need to ask yourself why?

Many of the clients I speak to feel unappreciated at work. They feel like their managers don't really respect them and colleagues belittle them. Does this sound familiar? Unfortunately this is something I also felt when I  worked in schools. Some of the teachers I worked alongside didn't understand what I did as a careers adviser in the school. I hate to admit this but it did feel like they almost looked down on me. Especially if the word "connexions" was mentioned. At first I thought maybe this just happens to me but when I spoke to other colleagues many of them were actually in the same boat. I realised a lot of this was do with the individual school and how they appreciated careers advice. In one of the schools I in worked I had the headmaster give me referrals, he wanted me involved in the school and put his pupils first.

So what does appreciation feel like to you? Is it feeling valued and as though you are wanted and people are asking for your help. Are you recognised for the good work you do and given extra responsibility. Feeling like a resource goes hand in hand with feeling unappreciated. Give yourself the love you want. If you know deep in your gut your job and career undervalues you, and makes you feel like a resource ask yourself what you can do change this.Only you have the power to change but until you take the action to this it won't happen.

Wishing you all the best 

Soma x