My career unhappiness story

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Here’s how it began

I was sitting in the doctors, when I started crying, I wondered is he going to think I'm completely nuts for crying he was a nice caring doctor. He gave me a tissue and reassured me that it was okay to cry, he wasn't going to judge me because I felt silly for crying. This happened in my mid 20s whilst going through the redundancy process it was so stressful the uncertainty of not knowing where I was going next was adding to this stress.

Everyone in my community of my generation are doctors, dentists, accountants, lawyers etc all the professions which are highbrow. I was never academic and couldn't pursue any of those professions. I'm not saying that I'm not intelligent, I've worked hard to be where I am. I know who I am. I know my opinion counts, it's why I created a business.

It can be very easy for all of us to feel like things are against us when you feel like you are not the brightest, not the smartest etc. We can all feel like failures we can feel as though we are not enough. I'm sharing this story with you, because I remember when I didn't get selected to be in my team I and was made redundant, that it wasn't anybody's fault. It was the universe's way of telling me that I was meant to learn and grow and do different things. I was grateful for the experience. And I was lucky I started a new job. I lost my job on the Friday started a new one on the Monday.

Imposter syndrome

I felt thankful that I had a job. When you go through something like redundancy, where you feel like a failure, or you have imposter syndrome which was what was happening to me when I went to this new job. I thought, who was to be in this job? I hadn't interviewed for this job, I've got the job through being redeployed. It's a seemed like a pity job. It knew wasn't a Pity job, but it seemed like that at the time. This voice wouldn't go away the inner voice, the imposter syndrome. The how did I end up here? What am I doing with my life? The who am I to be here voice came up and I felt I wasn’t good enough.  

Then when my cousin was diagnosed with a very serious health condition, I was devastated. I remember thinking because he was a year older than me, he had a very good job and worked for IBM. I thought what if that had been me? I remember I couldn't sleep properly at night, I was worrying. I was thinking, what was I going to do next, what direction was I going to go in? Luckily, I was living at home with my mom or my sister. So, it wasn't as though the world was going to come to an end in terms of finances and emotional support.

I think one of the reasons I found the whole redundancy process so stressful is because of how long it took it.  Sadly, my cousin died two years after that he suffered a lot, he had stomach cancer. Bad things happen, but it it's how we deal with the bad stuff and we can move forward and create something new. Really think about what you want? I knew that being that unhappy was not something where I was doing a disservice to myself. I wanted to write, I wanted to travel, I wanted to live my life because I kept on thinking if my cousin can get ill. What could happen to me? I hadn't even met my husband them. So I left my job to start a fresh and 5 years on I have this business where I help women find their version of career happiness.

Start making a change sooner rather then later.

If you feel like you're a failure, if you feel like you're not good enough, if you feel like you're going through imposter syndrome, there is something you can do about it, you can change can adapt your life, there will be risks involved, there will be a fears that come up. I took the leap and I left my job. I'm not saying that you need to leave your job. If you've got a family and kids and a mortgage etc, you may not be able to do this. What I am saying is, there is always an alternative if you feel pressure to be the kind of person that other people want you to be. It's because you're not thinking for yourself, you're internalizing what your real thoughts are. What I mean by that is, when I work with my clients, I make it about them. It's about them pushing forward so they can create the life they want.

It can only happen if you take the action required to get there. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to be like, Oh, yeah, I had it all figured out. No, it's taken me five years to get here. What I will say is that all journeys have a destination all of them and you need to find your destination sooner rather than later, so you can start living your career happiness.

If you want to find out how I can help you why not book a call here

 

 

 

 

 

Career Mentoring and how it can help you?

What is career mentoring?

Career mentoring is something that helps you be in a position you want be in. As a career mentor I will help you map out what you want, how you can get it and plan it in a way that suits your individual needs. If you haven’t experienced mentoring before it’s a form of guidance to help you move forward.

A mentor is a guide for their mentee and has experienced some of the challenges that they may already be facing themselves. They teach them strategies and techniques to help them overcome any issues they may be having.

I help the women I work with in a very bespoke way. There are elements of careers advice, guidance, coaching and mentoring all rolled into one.

It’s a safe collaborative relationship designed to help you move where you want to be in your career. Not where others think you should be or stick to a standard of something because it’s what is expected from you. For example, if you are working in an industry and have been taught to hold on to this status in society e.g. a lawyer or doctor. However, you want to start a business or change your career but worry what other people will say. I will work with you to overcome this and create a plan that is bespoke to you so you, so your career dream happens.

How it can it help you?

This depends on your current situation and where you are at. Most of the women who come to me are extremely bright and ambitious but feel scared, alone and often overwhelmed by life. They feel like only one route is the option for them. So, by taking up career mentoring you are opening your world to an array of possibilities. These possibilities can help you explore what your really want and who you want to be.

Some of the ways I can help is by mapping out training for a new career or profession. We can also look at any business ideas you may have and see what flexible working means to you. Or if you are seeking more in your career and have been playing it safe helping you work for organisations that you may have overlooked. Allowing you to explore what your values and beliefs are doing work you care about and can fall in love with.

My background in careers and psychology

In terms of how I can help you I have a background in Psychology and a Post graduate in careers guidance. I always knew I wanted to help people because my mum was a teacher and my dad was a family lawyer. It’s a value that has been instilled in me since I was young child. I have always been curious about people and their behaviour and find with all the different clients who have come to me even when I worked in schools. I never get bored of hearing their unique stories and career aspirations.

When you work with me I do give you careers advice where necessary, but I also help you look deeper then that. I have had my own struggles in my life and when I worked for Mind at 23 it completely changed how I wanted to work with people.

Due to my passion around mental health and my own personal struggles with depression, anxiety, workplace bullying and going though redundancy. I know working life can sometimes feel like a roller coaster. I am here to help you iron out those kinks and provide you with the solid support you need.

When I work with clients I incorporate psychology and mindset practices that have helped me too. I also spend time on my own self development and have worked with some successful business mentors.

The results I have created already.

I have helped several of my clients feel more confident about their careers and start acting on what they want.

  • This includes the mums I have helped restart their career.

  •  Women who were undervaluing their worth and going for jobs that fit their actual work experience and qualifications.

  • Helping women change industries and have the assertiveness to ask for a pay raise or promotion.

  • Empowering women to think about starting a business or go freelance.

How can I help you move forward in your career?

I am currently helping women shape their career journey by supporting them through the 12-week mentoring program I offer.

If you want to find out more about this and how to book a call, please go to the following link. http://www.thecareerhappinessmentor.com/career-happiness-mentoring/

Do you need a Career Holiday?

We all need to go on holiday once in while why not have the same attitude with our work hey. Would you like to work abroad do something totally different? What’s stopping you? Before you think about taking that career holiday ask yourself do you really need to take one?

A Career holiday could be taking a break from your current career by travelling or just trying a new job for a while and seeing what other options could be available to you.

1.       Are you happy in your job?

2.       Do you like what you do?

3.       Don’t feel like you need a new change

4.       Love where you work and don’t want to change anything.

If you answer yes to any of these questions, then you most likely don’t need a career holiday.

However, if you are:

-          Bored with your work

-          Feel like you want more

-          Want to travel the world but don’t how.

-          Don’t want to be in the same job for the rest of your life.

Then its properly time you did take that career holiday so that you revive your energy and put new zest into your career and working life.

Does this sound like you what could you do next? Write down what your idea of a career holiday is. There are no wrong or right answers here. It may not even involve any actual work but this will give you an idea of what you want in a break. This will help relax you and make you feel happier when you come back!!

Then think about how you could make this happen!! It may seem like a crazy idea to go on career holiday but remember life is very short. If you are an ambitious, hardworking person this could be a great way to let out all the things you want to do that your current job doesn’t allow.

Either way a career holiday could be the thing that helps you get what you have always been looking for. This may include your dream job, new lease of life and general lessons that you may want to implement into your life.

 

 

 

 

How can I find a job and career that pays me what I truly want?

Money is something that affects all the women I talk to. They often ask me how can they find a job and career that not only fits their values but what they want in life too. So, I want to share some tips to help with this.

1. Why do you need the money you want?  

Be realistic and think about the main objectives behind what you need the money for? If you want to have more money what will it bring you and what is the goal behind attaining it? Don’t just go after the money and feel deflated once you get especially If it doesn’t fulfil you. Sometimes if you have more money you can overspend it so it’s important to make smart decisions. There is a saying the more you have of something the more we use it and the same goes for money itself.

2. What is the cost of living for you and does the money you earn impact on your lifestyle?

If you live in London or another expensive city important factors to consider are rent, living costs and day to day expenses this can factor into the money you want to earn. So be practical and realistic about this. Millionaires and six figure earners say money gives them freedom and flexibility. Remember though when you earn more money you may also pay higher tax rates. There is nothing wrong with wanting more money. Start thinking about, what do you need to, do so you can earn more? For example, do you want more then £4K per month. Do you need more money for your children or expecting a child? Perhaps you want to invest it in an ISA or bond? Lastly you may need to pay off debts, spend it on home renovations or a family holiday. Why is it important for your lifestyle and circumstances? Make a list of all the reasons you want to earn more money and put a why next to each reason. Then assess how important this list is to you. In some cases, you may need money to pay off an important debt. The most important debt that a lot of homeowners have is of course a mortgage.

3 .What do think about money get your emotions around money sorted first.

What does money mean to you and why is important to you emotionally. A fear of losing money can be a strong emotion for many especially if in their past this has happened to them.

Whenever money and emotions are mentioned to my clients they don’t always like talking about this. This is not to say that money is a bad thing but many of us are brought up to believe wanting more is bad. Your emotions around it may bring up things from your past. For example, did your family make you feel guilty about spending too much money when you brought something expensive for yourself and didn’t buy anyone anything else? Or did you live in a house where your parents were always struggling to keep up with payments and as a result you feel you aren’t good with money and it’s a tough subject for you talk about.

You may think it’s silly to think about money and emotions, but a lot of our money-making decisions can be linked to emotions. For example, when we go shopping how often do we feel driven by our favourite food items and stick to that without sometimes looking at the cost. In the UK we spend a lot on monthly food shops and it can be said we end up spending more when we see things on special offers or we spend less if we are budgeting.

A lot of financial psychologists say money and emotions are directly linked to our childhood and a passed down belief of “Do you really need that” may have been indirectly passed down to you. Thus, making you feel guilty when you have spent a lot of money even if you can afford it.

4. If you are being undervalued or underpaid do something about this.

Are you being undervalued and underpaid, if so. Why do you deserve more? If you aren’t getting paid what you want right now what are the legitimate reasons for wanting more.If you know you want more and are worth it discuss this and negotiate a salary with your boss or line manager.

It may help you to journal about all the ways in which you feel you have added value in the time you have been in your current job. If you have only been there a short while this may be harder to prove unless you increased sales or did something to redefine how others thought of you. If you are not able to get the salary you want really assess why do you need it.

For example, if you are buying a new house or need it to pay off something very important like outstanding credit card bills after you got married. Think about what it will cost you financially to live on a budget for a short while and in that time look at jobs you want and apply for them. It’s important you think of a figure you want to earn, so you can pay for all the things you want and need.  

If you have been preventing yourself from getting paid what you know you truly want and desire think about the tips discussed above. Think about why you need more money, what kind of lifestyle you want, what are the feelings around money and lastly are you acting to make sure you get paid what you want. Lastly your idea of what you want will be different to your friends and family. If you are reading this and know your emotions are coming from others around you sort out what you want first.